a day..

  Mom and dad's love isn't in the words they speak It's in the mangoes of summer season It's in the sambar and Bajra ki roti It's in the dry fruit packets It's in soothing caress of his broad palms after a long day It's in the peaches and cucumbers  It's in them eating khakra and dahi for lunch or dinner  It's in them coming over at 2am in the night to comfort you with their presence  It's in washing my white kurta It's in finding biggest space in their hearts for our children  It's in numerous small everyday things And yet here I stand incapable of understanding or expressing love

In the rustling of the leaves In the gushing of the wind In the passing of the stream  In the shrills of a thrush In the flitting of a butterfly  In the running around of a squirrel  In the gentle lapping of the waves In the echoes of the mountains  In the quiet of the moon In the gentle falling of the rain Nature quietly tiptoes leaving in its wake a serenity, a calm, a peace and a way to ourselves.

If you are here, you have a good reason to be here. A note for you Parag. We became friends much later in life, but I can call you one of my closest and dear friends. Talking about everything comes very easily with you. You offer me a safe space to be. And that is important for a person like me who grapples with anxiety. You allow me to breathe and let me be myself. There are no judgements, no reactions when I tell you how I feel about things. There is a gentleness, where I can come and rest for a while. I feel unburdened in your presence. I have needed that lately. You gave me space to heal. So when you were gone for the longest time, I was hurt and lost. But slowly I found a way back to myself. I have worked away the  misplaced anger and resentment and today, there is just affection for you. When I think of you, it is this photo that comes to my mind. It captures the essence of who you are. If there was one word I would use to describe you - it would be 'gentle'. The way I se...

May we carry the memories May they return like the gentle waves on the shore May we carry the memories May they return like the shining stars in the night sky May we carry the memories  May they return like the bright rays on a sunny day May we carry the memories  May they return to envelope us in a blanket of love May we carry the memories  May they return the smiles of a wonderful time gone by May we carry the memories May they return the people we made them with May we carry the memories  May they return to light up our hearts Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

 Some people feel like a warm hug. They make you feel so loved and cared for. They radiate happiness and it spreads right to the tip of your fingers. They make your heart beat. Some people feel like a beautiful smile. The one which brightens up your day. The soft, gentle one; full with assurance that says, "I am here". They give you a spring in your step. Some people's twinkling kind eyes, The ones that crinkle up at the corners. The ones that know. And when they smile, they tell us, "I will see you through this" They make us soft; deep in our hearts. The heart breaks a little when they leave. But they also leave their best pieces in our hearts.

 my heart is a sum of my pieces, including the dark parts... trying to embrace all the things that make me imperfect, weak, stupid...

Tonight I wanted to talk to you about life and frivolous things in between Tonight I wanted to ask you about a letter Tonight I wanted to crack some silly jokes and laugh my heart out Tonight I wanted to tell you about the time when anxiety engulfs me into a deep, dark abyss Tonight I wanted to ask you about why do you also find silence beautiful Tonight I wanted to just feel comfortable in knowing someone to share silence with Tonight I wanted to tell you about a book I read   Tonight I wondered what it would be like to sit across a table, feet curled up, sharing a hot chocolate and watching the rain fall Tonight I thought about you   Tonight I missed a friend

what do you do when words run out and what do you do when we fall out of love do we hold each other by the bare threads of memories? when do you know its time to leave and when do you say your last goodbye| do we linger around in warm embraces? how do we walk away and how do we move on do we keep searching for smiles? and when the heart knows, it knows do we let the mind fool us? and do we hold each other and dance while the music still goes on...